
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/2381261.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Graphic_Depictions_Of_Violence, Major_Character_Death, Rape/Non-Con,
      Underage
  Category:
      F/M
  Fandom:
      Supernatural
  Relationship:
      Castiel/Dean_Winchester
  Character:
      John_Winchester, Dean_Winchester, Castiel
  Additional Tags:
      What_Have_I_Done, Implied/Referenced_Character_Death, Child_Death, Child
      Abuse, Underage_Sex, Always_Female_Dean, Rape, Rape/Non-con_Elements,
      Triggers, Sad, I_Made_Myself_Cry, Alternate_Universe_-_Human, Police
      Officer_Castiel, Death, Character_Death, Drug-Induced_Sex, Drug_Use, Non-
      Consensual_Drug_Use, Abusive_John_Winchester, John_Winchester's_A+
      Parenting, Evil_John_Winchester
  Stats:
      Published: 2014-09-30 Words: 2841
****** Where did Jesus go ******
by Thatbitchoverthere
Summary
     Based off a song by the pretty reckless. Pretty much my
     intrepertation of what would have happened it both Mary and Sam had
     died in the fire and everybody was human. It's very sad and
     sucktacualr!!!!
Notes
See the end of the work for notes
I have a tale to tell about a girl who’s soul was screwed She was born into the
life with everything to lose Deanne remembered being happy. She remembered when
 she was 5, and had a mommy and a daddy who loved her. She remembers how daddy
would come home from work and give her mommy a big kiss, and then he would come
over to Deanne pick her up and kiss her cheek. De would always complain for how
 scratchy it was. Now she would give anything to get one more kiss like that.
Her mom, Mary, would laugh and the entire room would lighten up. Everything was
good. At 6 De remembered the fire that consumed her mom and baby brother Sammy,
the fire also consumed all of the happiness De would ever get. Two weeks later
De turned seven. De and her father were staying in a nasty motel down the road
from where she had been happy. De had stayed up late waiting for her father to
return. As she saw the impala pull in to a parking spot outside her motel room
she got really excited. She had expected her father to bring her a gift; it was
her birthday after all. When John walked in he screamed at her. “You worthless
 piece of shit, I told you to be in bed and asleep when I got back. YOU ARE A
USELESS, STUPID BITCH. GO TO BED NOW YOU LITTLE FUCK.” John yelled. “But daddy
its my birthday?” dean asked with tears in her eyes. “What the fuck do you want
 me to do about that, is your mom ever going to have another birthday, and is
Sammy?” he asked as De started crying earnestly. “you gonna cry like the little
useless cunt you are? You gonna cry, you know who cries Deanne, babies cry? Are
you a baby Deanne?” he asked while approaching her. “No daddy, I’m not a baby.”
She said as she was still convulsing with sobs. The first slap across her face
 she didn’t see coming. The second was also a surprise. She started to back up
 trying to get away from her father. As John brought his hand back to deliver
another blow he asked her, “What did you call me?” He landed the third blow to
the right side of her face with the back of his hand leaving the impression of
 his ring on her cheek bone. “I’m sorry sir.” She spluttered. John landed the
fourth and final blow to face before yelling, “NOW GO TO BED YOU LITTLE SLUT.”
  De walked to her bed as quick as she could on her unsteady legs. Her father
went and sat on the couch and pulled out the brown bag he had carried in. From
 the bag he withdrew a bottle of whiskey and began pulling long draws from the
bottle. This was the first time De silently cried herself to sleep for fear of
her father. It would not be the last. Her father sold her to the trade when she
was just a child She was 1 7 and never ever learned to smile Three years later
De woke up to her fathers drunk barging through their motel room door. She was
   used to this she did not move for fear of incurring his wrath. On her 7th
 birthday john had hit her for the first time, from there it had escalated to
 weekly beatings. The only difference was no we was more careful to make sure
 they would be hidden by her clothing. As John finally got the motel room door
open, he approached De’s bed. “Hey baby girl wake up,” he said, using the voice
he had not spoken to De with since Mary and Sam had died. “Hey baby I need you
 to do something for me, this man, Daddy owes him a favor. Can you help daddy
out?” John asked De. “You need cash?” she deadpanned “WHY YOU LITTLE UNGREATFUL
 SLUT!” he screamed as her punched her across the face. De momentarily blacked
 out. When she came back too she realized her clothes had been removed and she
 was tied up. She also realized that John was gone, but his ‘friend’ was still
 there. That was the first time De’s dad sold her body to pay for his boos and
gambling debts. At 13 De developed much quicker than her peers. While they all
bitched about not having boobs or a girly figure, Deanne already a size D boob
 and was five feet tall with hips that made her look like she was 18 not just
13. De hated it she wished she looked like a normal 13 year old girl, and then
 maybe her father would have a hard time selling her body for the night every
night at whatever shady bar he found outside of whatever random town they were
staying in. When she got back to the motel she was staying at she found a note
from her father saying that he was gonna be gone for a few days possible weeks
 and that she could provide for herself until he got back. Luckily enough she
had a little cash saved up from the last few men that she would be able to get
   enough food to last her til her father got back to not have to go out by
  herself. Of course it also meant that when her father got back there would
probably be a bookie in tow who John would owe enough money to sell de for the
   whole week. Those were always the cruelest men. The ones who murdered to
 collect money for a living; they were the ones who left De’s back covered in
 scars and the rest of her covered in burn marks and bruises. That night, the
  night John left De alone for a week that she cut herself. She went into the
  bathroom, just wanting to feel some control. She took a razor she used for
shaving her legs and pried out the blades. She picked up the first one, and sat
 on the edge of the bath tub and sliced a three inch long gash into the top of
her right thigh. The cut was not deep but it hurt like a bitch. De relished in
 the pain she was able to inflict on herself. She finally had control. She cut
along the same line several time deepening it. She cut several more gashes into
 herself before bandaging herself up and going to sleep. John came home a week
later. As predicted, he owed a lot of money to a guy. That was the worst De had
had in a while. She was unable to walk for a few days, and the shark had broken
her arm. A few days later John packed up and they moved to the next town three
    states away. When De was 15 she met Cas. He was a slightly awkward but
confident nerd three years older than de was. They met in the library while De
was avoiding going back to her motel room where John would be passed out drunk.
   He came up to Deanne and introduced himself. After that they became fast
 friends. The first friend De had ever had. She knew that is was just going to
make it worse when she had to leave in a few months, but she couldn’t help it.
 In the first two weeks of their friend ship De learned a lot about Cas and in
 return she gave him an abridged version of her own past, neglecting the abuse
  she had been enduring since she was seven at the hand of her father and the
 hands of others since she turned ten. A few weeks later they started dating.
She was so happy. After two months of dating, De brought Cas back to her motel
room with the intention of just spending the night cuddling with him and maybe
  sharing a few deep kisses. When they arrived at the motel via Cas’s car De
  began telling Cas everything. He held her while she cried into his shoulder
 telling how her father had abused her. He gently petted her hair and told her
 it was okay when she told him how her father had been dolling her out like a
prostitute since she was ten to pay his gambling debts. Cas held her all night
long and in the morning he made her breakfast. Later in the day Cas decided to
 broach the white elephant in the room. “you should file charges against your
  father. Get him arrested, and stop it all.” “I can’t Cas,” she told him, “I
 told you the bad, but I remember when it was good. And I know that man is in
him somewhere. I can’t turn my back on him he is the only family I have left.”
She finished. “De he is abusing you. You can’t let it continue like this. What
about me De, I love you so much, just run away with me. I leave for college in
a few months. Let’s just go. We will get an apartment and I’ll get a job and we
  will be fine and you will be safe.” As Cas finished De realized two things,
  one, Cas was right, she needed to get out and two, john was standing right
 behind Cas. She froze. “WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY BOY?” john asked. “You
and I will have words later, now go sit your fat, useless ass down.” He said to
 Deanne “No! daddy don’t hurt Cas, it’s my fault, just let him go.” De pleaded
 “what the Fuck did you say to me? YOU LITTLE SLUT YOU ACTUALLY THOUGH I’D LET
 YOU LEAVE WITH YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND HERE? WELL YOUR WRONG.” He yelled as her
 raised his fist punching De in the face. She fell down. Cas quickly jumped it
    to aid her when John hit him over the head with his half full bottle of
 whiskey. Cas went down hitting his head on the table as he fell. John grabbed
  his and De’s items and through them into the impala while De tended to Cas.
John Grabbed De and through her and tried to take her out to the impala too but
she kept fighting him. He quickly knocked her out too, by beating the shit out
of her and put her in the impala as well. When Cas woke up about an hour later,
he realized De and John were gone and there was a relatively large blood stain
 leading to the door and out to where John’s car had been. Cas quickly called
  the police. They arrived at the motel in a matter of minutes. Cas told them
 everything he could, but it was too late they were gone and john had probably
    changed their names and everything. From that moment on Cas vowed to do
 everything he could to find Deanne. She took a bullet and blew out her brains
 She didn’t say good bye She just went away And now whose missing her, I wish
 she was here Her name was Angle and she had a bad year The last two years had
 been hell for Deanne. Her angle, Castiel, John had told her in the midst of a
rather bad beating, was dead. After that John barley let De leave the house or
  whatever shack they were staying in. He had however gotten her addicted to
meth, finding it easier to sell her when she was high. When De was 17 John died
of a gunshot to the head during a whore house raid in Nevada where he had been
 selling De. At the time of the raid De had been sober enough to get away and
 went to her and John’s motel room and waited for him to come get her and give
  De, her drugs. After an hour passed De realized John must have either been
  arrested or killed if he was not back yet. She was free. After a minute she
 when over to the closet where John kept his extra hand gun and she pulled it
   out. in a moment of clarity she realized she had nothing left, her life a
 disgusting mess and she had no reason to live. She cocked the gun and fired,
  blowing her brains out. So you wanna call me the devil’s advocate When you
don’t know the half of it Cause I was raised to believe in miracles My life is
    so cold Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? He
  disappeared Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? He
disappeared Whats the point of screaming out if know one gives a damn Whats the
  point of reaching out if no one lends a hand She had passed the point where
there was nothing left to give She was seventeen and never ever learned to live
 So you wanna call me the devil’s advocate When you don’t know the half of it
 Cause I was raised to believe in miracles My life is so cold Where did Jesus
Go? Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? He disappeared Where did Jesus Go?
Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go? He disappeared She needed and an angle
 to love And no one sent her an angle She needed and angle to love her And no
 one sent her an angle Cas had been busy for the last two years. After De was
  gone, he enrolled in the police academy and after less than a year he made
   detective. Less than six months after that Cas had been picked to be on a
 special unit, with dealing with long term rape and abuse victims. A few weeks
 after he joined the team, they got wind of a whore house in Nevada which was
  soliciting underage girls as prostitutes. The next three months were spent
 gathering info on the establishment. Once they got a video tap they were able
to see what was going on in the house. That was where Cas saw De for the first
time after looking for her for the last 2 years. She looked bad. Once they got
   the all clear they took down the house with the aid of the Nevada police
  Department and their SWAT team. In the confusion of the raid, Cas saw John
 trying to leave the house with a girl. He shot John once in the head, once in
the heart, but the girl got away. After all the confusion Cas realized De must
have gotten away. Cas was able to get Johns wallet and found the address of the
motel he must have been staying at. Cas and his partner took off for the motel.
 They flew down the highway with their light and sirens blaring. Cas had told
   his team about De and appartnely his partner, Pamala, understood that cas
 wanted to hurry because she was driving like the devil was chasing them. When
they finally got to the motel and parked. Car started running to the office to
find their room number; he heard a gun go off. Cas skidded to a halt looking at
 his partner then busting down the door of the room they had heard the gun go
   off in. Cas found De’s body lying on the bed. He could almost imagine her
 sleeping, if it were not for the blood dripping from her temple, on her right
 side. He screamed then ran to her. He took her hand in his then picked up her
 small limp frame and rocked her. He apologized for breaking his promise. “I’m
so sorry! I’m so so sorry.” He whispered. “I promised you, I promised you that
  I would keep you safe. And I failed. For that I can never be forgiven.” Cas
  said as he started crying. “we were gonna run away, get an apartment, I was
 gonna propose when I felt like we were ready, god your only 17 we could have
  had a life, if I had only been one day sooner we could have fixed what your
   father broke, we would have been so happy, for that I’m so so sorry.” Cas
  finished. But you wanna call me the devil’s advocate But you don’t know the
half of it I hate I was raised to believe in miracles Cause life is so cold But
you wanna call me the devil’s advocate But you don’t know the half of it I hate
I was raised to believe in miracles Cause life is so cold So you wanna call me
 the devil’s advocate When you don’t know the half of it Cause I was raised to
believe in miracles My life is so cold Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go?
  Where did Jesus Go? He disappeared Where did Jesus Go? Where did Jesus Go?
                      Where did Jesus Go? He disappeared
End Notes
     Thanks for reading. Coments are appreciated! Fic is based off song
     Where did Jesus Go by The Pretty Reckless.
Please drop_by_the_archive_and_comment to let the author know if you enjoyed
their work!
